| Service
of Thanksgiving and Celebration for the Life of John Humphry26th July 1933 - 12th October 2021St Andrew's Church, Soham Wednesday 27th October 2021 at 2.30pm |
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Order of Service
OPENING MUSIC: Waltz in A flat Major, Op. 69, No. 1 - Chopin
WELCOME AND SENTENCES‘I am the resurrection and the life,’ says the Lord.
‘Those who believe in me, even though they die, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die.’
John, Chapter 11: verses 25-26
HYMN: Abide with me; fast falls the eventide
A TRIBUTE TO JOHN
from the family, read by Marcus, Nicholas and Christopher
Marcus: On several
occasions in recent years Dad has mentioned to us that he would
like his sons to speak at his funeral. He wanted us to tell his
story and say what kind of a man, husband, father, and friend he
was, and how dear he was to us all.
So here we are, here to tell Dad’s
story...
Dad was born on July 26th 1933 in
Pill, just outside Bristol. He was the only child of Grandma,
Harriet Gertrude Humphry, known as Hartie, and Grandad, Harold
William Humphry. Grandma was a Primary school teacher and Grandad
a mechanic and chauffeur.
When he was still a toddler in the
mid-1930s, the family moved from the Bristol area to Berwick in East Sussex where Grandma
obtained the position of Head Teacher of the Primary School in Ripe.
Dad always spoke of a happy
childhood, despite the war years. He used to tell us the story
that when he cycled to Primary School each day with Grandma to
Ripe (a return journey of 7 miles), he was too small for his bike,
so Grandma would hold the bike when he mounted it and would then
cycle along ahead of him so she could catch him at the other end.
Grandad volunteered early in the
war for the Royal Air Force where he became an aero engineer and
spent most of the war years in India and Sri Lanka – thus starting
a small tradition that Dad would follow a few years later. While
on leave in 1942 Grandad was selected to pose for the artist
Duncan Grant who was painting the famous murals in Berwick Church
and where he can still be seen today. This Church has a special
significance for the family – Marcus was baptised there and Ellie
too - and Dad has expressed his wishes for his ashes to be buried
there alongside those of Grandma and Grandad.
Post-war, Dad went to Lewes County
Grammar school where he was Deputy Head Boy. He excelled
academically – he enjoyed Geography, History and French - and
started to indulge his passion for rugby and cricket. He loved
school – especially the ethos of the Grammar school – and made
many close friends. Maybe the idea of being a teacher was already
in his mind at this stage in his life.
Whilst recording an oral history
for Berwick recently, Dad proudly recalls that he was a Senior
Sixer in the Cubs, (1st Alfriston), and leader of the Lions pack
in the Scouts. He also loved camping and spent several annual
school camps watching RSC Shakespeare plays in Stratford in the
late 1940s.
Sussex and the Berwick area
remained Dad’s spiritual home throughout his life – as testified
by the fact that when it came to cricket, he always supported
Sussex.
In Autumn 1952 took his place at
Merton College, Oxford University to read Geography. It was a
subject for which he had a passion. Dad loved his time at Merton;
he had a ball. Literally. He played for the College first teams in
Rugby, Cricket and Athletics – and he even tried out for the
University Rugby team. Dad wrote a CV in 1969 on which we
discovered that he even played Soccer for Merton College first XI.
Dad’s photos of the various Merton sports teams are at home on the
wall above his desk – providing a daily reminder of these happy
times. Dad also made lots of great friends at college, falling in
with what he called the 'grammar school crowd'. During one of his
long summer vacations, four of them took a trip to Europe visiting
France, Germany, Italy, and Austria – all in a converted hearse!
College days over, National
Service beckoned, and Dad decided to follow in his father’s
footsteps and opted for a short-term commission in the RAF. After
a few months square-bashing and learning the ropes, Dad was posted
to the Far East as an RAF Education Officer, spending a short
stint in Hong Kong, before being posted to RAF Katunayake, in the
then Ceylon. In the RAF, he also continued his sporting prowess,
winning RAF caps in Rugby and Cricket.
Nicholas: Not too long into
his Ceylon stay, maybe just a few months, a new Princess Mary
Royal Nursing Sister arrived with beautiful auburn hair and a
winning smile. She was called Frederica Woods. Mum told us that
she first saw Dad from behind, playing cards with his follow
officers. Anyway, after a few months they became an item. At the
time, Mum was a higher-ranking officer than Dad and dating a
junior office was not the thing to do. Mercifully, Dad was soon
promoted to Flying Officer and everything was as it should be. Mum
and Dad had a wonderful courtship in Ceylon – it was and still is
in fact the perfect place for romance. They travelled around the
island together and took lots of photos which we have seen
constantly over the years. Even though we were not there, Ceylon
seems very much a part of our lives too. The house has always been
full of reminders and mementos.
Mum and Dad got engaged on
Valentine’s Day 1958 – intending to marry in the UK when Dad
finished his three years towards the end of that year. At this
point wanting to follow not just in his father’s footsteps, but
also in his mother’s, Dad decided to become a teacher and obtained
a place to do a PGCE, back at Merton College, in 1958/59. There
was a hitch. To obtain the married student allowance, Dad had to
provide a valid marriage certificate before starting. The
solution, a wedding in Ceylon. The wedding was a real fairy-tale
for both Mum and Dad. It was a ‘first’ on the RAF base, and they
rolled out the red carpet. Again, wonderful photos of the occasion
– with both Mum and Dad looking beautiful and dashing, Dad in his
uniform and Mum in a specially made ¾ length wedding gown. They
have been devoted to each other ever since.
After a short honeymoon at the
Mount Lavinia Hotel just south of Colombo, Mum and Dad came back
to Blighty and spent another wonderful year in Oxford as Dad
qualified to become a teacher. Dad immediately signed up to teach
at the RAF Grammar School Changi – wanting to get back to the Far
East as soon as possible.
He left Mum in the UK to take up
his post; the reason why Mum couldn’t travel with him being that
she was heavily pregnant. Son number 1 arrived in September 1959,
and was christened Marcus William Grant – well over 9lbs! Dad and
his first son were re-united a few weeks later when Mum travelled
out to Singapore to be with him. Another bouncing 9 pounder
arrived 11 and a half months later called Nicholas John Craig; and
a third – just a quarter ounce over 9 lbs - arrived thirteen
months later called Christopher James Andrew.
The story goes that when it came
to naming children, it was agreed that Dad would choose the boys’
names, and Mum would choose the girls’ names. Our first debt of
gratitude to Dad goes to his wonderful choice of names for us all.
Mum and Dad spent six years in
Singapore – a lifestyle they both enjoyed immensely. Dad loved his
teaching role at the school; Mum and Dad developed a strong
friendship group with other teachers; and, based on the many
photos we have, as a family we spent lots of time on the beach, by
the swimming pool and pootling around the island.
Dad also wrote a textbook on the
geography of Singapore and Malaya which was used for many years in
Singapore schools. An amusing family anecdote from the time
relates that one day when Mum and Dad were out, Dad had left his
most recent manuscript lying around the house, and one of the
three of us - Marcus being the leader is considered the main
culprit – decided what a good idea it would be to take the
manuscript, separate the pages and take them into the shower with
us for a good washing! Apparently, we then hung them up around the
walls of the house, proud of our artwork awaiting our parents’
return. To say that Dad was apoplectic is probably an
understatement – we were swiftly sent to bed!
In 1965, after 6 years in
Singapore, Mum and Dad decided to return to the UK – with Dad
being very keen to find a Head of Department role in a good
grammar school. He obtained one at Soham Grammar School. Dad liked
the ethos and look of the school and had an enormous respect for
the headmaster, Mr Armitage. The family moved firstly to a house
opposite the Grammar School at 17 Sand Street, and then in 1969 to
Brampton House, Fordham Road where Dad lived with Mum for over 50
years. Grandma also came to live in Soham – an opportunity for Dad
to spend some quality time with his mother having sent most of the
previous 10 years away from home.
It’s clear that Dad loved Soham
Grammar School. In addition to being Head of Geography, he was a
Sixth Form Tutor, member of the School Careers team – a role he
continued right up until his retirement – House Master and in
charge of the School 1st XI cricket team. He made many close
friends of fellow colleagues – including Peter Scott, our organist
here today.
Christopher: Growing up Dad
was definitely a hands-on Dad. He would play endless games out on
the lawn with us whether it was kicking a ball around, playing
tennis, playing cricket or just playing catch. We like to think
that he loved this as much as we did – though we lost count of how
many times one of us broke the garage or kitchen window or
vandalised the shrubs chasing after a ball!
He was also chief family chauffeur
and took us to all our Rugby, Football, Cricket and Athletic
events. Dad also gave the three of us a passion for skiing. It was
a sport he really enjoyed, and we accompanied him more than once
on the regular annual school ski trips. The three of us
resurrected this ski tradition in our mid-forties and have since
done several ski trips together, often with other members of the
family.
We also remember the family’s
slavish devotion each four years to the Olympics. We watched the
Mexico Olympics in 1968 in black and white and Dad promised us
that by the time the Munich Olympics came around, we would have a
colour tv; after much badgering from the three of us, a brand-new
colour tv arrived a couple of weeks before the start of the Munich
Olympics. We loved it.
It wasn’t just all about sport,
Dad encouraged us in many other areas. We remember being got out
of bed early to watch to moon landing in 1969, and the French
lessons Dad gave us to give us a head start for when we started
“big school”. He also shared with us his love for Morecambe and
Wise.
The government brought an end to
the grammar school system and Cambridgeshire was one of the first
countries to “go comprehensive”. The name of Shirley Williams –
the education minister responsible - became a name that none of us
would dare to pronounce. We remember the ceremony in this very
Church where we were all choir boys in the summer of 1972 to wish
goodbye to Soham Grammar School.
Like many of the Soham Grammar
School staff, Dad moved to teach at the City of Ely College.
Despite his initial reservations, Dad eventually enjoyed his time
the City of Ely College and at the VIth Form Centre in particular.
He made new friends among the former Ely High School for Girls
staff and developed strong relationships with new colleagues –
including a certain Mike Banyard.
He was the head of Alan House, one
of four newly created Houses [it had been an EHS House], and
continued to coach various sports teams.
Just like Dad travelled with his
mother to school each day on his bicycle, the three of us
travelled together with Dad every day to the City of Ely College.
We look back on these daily drives as lively chats and the
opportunity to be quizzed about our studies whilst spending
quality time with Dad.
The three of us finished our
schooling and moved on to the next stages of our lives, but Dad
continued teaching until he took early retirement – due to poor
health - in 1992. In his final years, Dad was the Director of Ely
VIth Form - a role he was hugely proud of and the perfect end to
his teaching career. He received lots of super tributes from his
colleagues when he retired. We were immensely proud of him.
Around this time, the family
started to increase. Dad welcomed his first daughter-in-law,
Elaine to the family in 1987, and his second, Megan in 1988. Two
new grandchildren, Ellie and Laura arrived in 1989. Another
grandchild, Emily arrived in 1993, and, from 1992, Bruno became a
member of the family. In four brief years, the three of us found
our soul mates and Dad welcomed them warmly into the family.
In retirement, Dad led an active,
if quiet, life. He indulged his passion for gardening – an
interest he inherited from his father - and would spend hours
tending to the lawns fighting a constant battle against moss and
garden moles! He also spent lots of time watching cricket and
rugby - mainly on tv, but also in person; many trips to Twickenham
with us or former colleagues and days spent at the Oval or Lords
to watch the cricket. We remember a very special occasion when we
took Dad to see the Semi-Final of the Rugby World Cup at
Twickenham in 2015 – where South Africa narrowly lost to New
Zealand 18-20. Dad also developed a passion for his cats –
particularly Ebony and Raja to whom he was devoted.
Most of all, Dad loved it when
members of the family would come to visit or telephone to say hi.
He developed a strong affection for his three grand-daughters and
was absolutely delighted to meet Ryan and become a
great-grandfather to Isabelle in 2016 and Daisy in 2019. In later
years as his health was fading, he took immense pleasure from
talking and spending time with the family. Whenever, any of his
sons would call home he would always ask, “How is Bruno? How is
Elaine? How is Megan? Do send them my love”.
Dad was a very special person. He
didn’t just transmit to us his love of sport and thirst for
knowledge, he was our rock. He was also Mum’s rock and his love
and concern for her was paramount. Possessed of great calmness, he
always attempted to navigate troubled waters with grace and
sympathy. He gave to us a strong sense of honesty, integrity,
loyalty, and love for the family. He is a part of us, and his
values live in us. We only hope that we can transmit them to the
next generation in our family.
Thanks Dad, loving husband,
father, and grandfather, we’ll all miss you.
PRAYERS OF THANKSGIVING
READING
Gospel of John, Chapter 14: verses 1-6 by Emily
Jesus said ‘Do not let your hearts
be troubled. Believe in God,
believe also in me. In my Father’s house there are many dwelling-places.
If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?
And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself,
so that where I am, there you may be also.
And you know the way to the place where I am going.’
Thomas said to him, ‘Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?’
Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’
For the word of the Lord.
Thanks be to God.
believe also in me. In my Father’s house there are many dwelling-places.
If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?
And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself,
so that where I am, there you may be also.
And you know the way to the place where I am going.’
Thomas said to him, ‘Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?’
Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’
For the word of the Lord.
Thanks be to God.
SERMON: The Reverend Mike Banyard
PRAYERS
THE LORD’S PRAYER
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come;
thy will be done; on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
Give us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen.
COMMENDATION AND FAREWELL
Let us commend Raymond John Humphry, John, to the mercy of God, our maker and redeemer.
May all the saints of God welcome you.
May your portion this day be in gladness and peace and may your dwelling be in paradise.
Go, Christian soul, from this world in peace.
HYMN: All things bright and beautiful, All creatures great and small
BLESSING
God the Father, by whose love Christ was raised from the dead,
open to you who believe the gates of everlasting life. Amen.
God the Son, who in bursting the grave has won a glorious victory,
give you joy as you share the Easter faith. Amen.
God the Holy Spirit, whom the risen Lord breathed into his disciples,
empower you and fill you with Christ’s peace. Amen.
And the blessing of God almighty, the Father, the Son, and the
Holy Spirit, be among you and remain with you always. Amen.
EXIT MUSIC: Bring Me Sunshine - Morecambe and Wise
Frederica and the family invited all to join them for refreshments at Brampton House
Donations, if desired, to Cancer Research UK
Funeral Directors: RJ Pepper & Son , 27 High Street, Soham, Ely, Cambs CB7 5HA
